Breaking News: SirWatts terrible at poker. This day didn't go at all like I was expecting. I played really loose aggressive all day trying to take advantage of the tight players and kept getting in tough spots. This resulted in monstrous roller coaster swings of my chip stack. Here's how it went down.
I sit around and fold for a bit. Everyone is playing stupidly tight so I decide to start raising a lot and I steal some chips and am lucky enough to hit a flop or 2 as well and get some chips, but then I donk one up.
Hand 1: I raise it to 200 with 89o from some position, likely enitrely too early to even be considered reasonable, and get called by the solid young player on my left. Flop 887. I bet 300 he calls. Turn 6 I bet 600 and he calls. River K I bet 1500 and he folds. Probably a little too greedy there.
Hand 2: I raise UTG with 54s and get one caller. Then random tight guy on the other side of the table makes it 600 on the button. I call and other dude calls. Flop Q44. Check to tighty who bets 800. I make it 2200 and get 2 folds. So lame.
Hand 3: I make it 200 with KQs in the CO and nit lady in the BB makes it 600. I call (I should probably just fold). Flop K87 she bets 1000 I call because, well, I have top pair omgomg. Turn 6, check/check. River 8 she bets 600 I make it 1600 because I'm not good at poker. She almost folds, and then calls and shows AK. It's hard to play this bad, seriously. I end the level with 8K, bad times.
Hand 4: I limp 99 UTG with about 8K behind. Nit lady makes it 600, others fold and I call because she definitely has the aces. Flop 982, I lead for 1000 and she makes it 2000. Oh the aces are going down in flames here. I call. Turn brick. I check and she bets 2000. I raise all-in for 4000 more and she folds. Sigh.
Hand 5: I make it 300 from EP with the T7s and get 2 callers. Flop 972 and I bet 600. First guy folds and good(?)/tricky aggressive player makes it 1800 and I just don't believe him since he's made moves like this before, and I think I gave off some weakness tells so I call. Turn and river help no one and it gets checked down. I table my monster and it's good. Cool. I have about 16K at this point, woot!
Blinds 100/200. Everything goes to shit.
Hand 6: Weak player limps and I make it 800 with KQo. He calls. Flop 853 rainbow. He checks and I bet 1200, he calls. Turn 4, check/check. River Q. He bets 2000 super quick. Like I'm not even sure if he saw the river card first. I'm pretty sure I'm dead, but I make the crying call and lose to his 76s.
Hand 7: Folded to tightish guy on button who makes it 700. I call in the SB with 89s (I think this is a poor call, we're not as deep as earlier). Flop J9x and I check/call 1200. Turn blank I check and he checks, sweet I'm good. River A and I check/fold to his 2000 bet. Crap. I get reraised once and I'm down to like 5K when I get absolutely pwned.
Hand 8: I make it 600 from the hijack with QTo and the solid guy on my left calls as does tricky/good player in the BB. Flop J43 I bet 1200 and tricky guy calls. Turn 8 check/check. River A he checks and I bet bet 2000 of my last 3500 trying to make it look like I want a call. He tanks and calls with K3. WTF? fvjdksjfdlfkaslfk;asldas;lfdfdkf. I manage to steal my way up to 3000 before the end of the level.
Blinds 100/200 a25
Hand 9: Open shove J5s from the SB for 2600 or so and win the blinds.
Hand 10: Donk raises to 600 in EP and SB calls. I find AK in the BB and shove for like 3K total. Donk folds and SB calls with 77. I flop a K and win.
Hand 11: I make it 700 with KQo and the same tricky aggressive player from the K3 pwnage/donk call calls. Flop QJ5 he check/calls my 1500. Turn Q. He checks and I decide to just push my last 4500. He tanks and calls with 44. Yes, 44. I have over 13K all of a sudden and have regained my confidence.
Hand 12: Folded to me in the SB and I make 700 with KK. Solid young player defends his BB. Flop JJ2 2 hearts. I check, he bets 700 and I call. Turn blank, I check and he bets 1500. I call. River Ad. I check, he bets 3000, I tank and fold. Gross. I steal some and bust a short stack to get up to 17K or so then lose a huge pot.
Blinds 150/300 a25
Hand 13: I raise to 1000 UTG with the T8d and get called in 3 spots. Flop comes QJ2 with 2 diamonds. I bet 2300 (about half the pot) planning to push over a raise. Donk pushes for like 6K more and I have to call. He shows QQ. Turn 9! River 2. Back to 7500. I bust a shortstack when my aces hold to get to 11K. Then I donk everything up.
Hand 14: Raise ATo to 1000 in MP and the BB chipleader tight/solid guy calls. Flop T72 2 spades. He check/calls my 1500 bet. Turn 8 spades. He leads for 4000. I'm basically ready to fold but there's enough semibluffs out there that I at least want to think about it. Really this guy just isn't that tricky and he's almost certainly protecting a strong made hand against the flush draw. I stare him down and pick up something that makes me think he's weak. I go with it and push. He calls and shows 22, I fire my cards in the muck as I don't even have a flush draw. 22 is probably what I'd guess he had before I found my "tell". Nice read me. Being an online donk sucks.
Big 2+2 dinner tonight. I'll probably end up checking out some of the night life with those guys after, so the next report could be interesting. Open beer bar + 40 degenerates trying to maximize ROI by drinking as many as possible will likely result in awesomeness.