I just won $42,500 and I'm incredibly disappointed

I know that's an enormous amount of money. To be able to win that much in a day I should be ecstatic. Lots of people probably don't make that in a year and just think I'm an asshole for not appreciating how lucky I am. I guess you'd have to be a poker player, in particular a tournament player, to really understand. That's just the game. I just finished 6th in the FTOPS Event #12, a $300 rebuy tournament with 6-handed tables and over 1300 players, for $42.5K. I played for 9 hours, generally getting very lucky, overcoming the few times I got unlucky, and for the most part playing some pretty damn good poker, especially towards the end. But then I ran into an unfortunate spot at the final table where I got put to a tough decision, and in retrospect, not because of the results of the hand but because of all the factors I failed to consider, I think I made a mistake which cost me tens of thousands of dollars in equity. I was so focused on just playing well and winning, and to fall short is incredibly disappointing. 1st place paid over a quarter million dollars, it was the biggest final table I've ever made, and to screw it up after getting so close is just a huge letdown.

Anyways here's the hand. It's obviously a spot that can go either way based on so many situational factors. I feel like the key factor I missed is that the villian doesn't really know much about me, and from what he's likely seen of my play probably does not think I'm very good as I've gotten my money in bad and drawn out a few times leading up to the final table when he likely had my table open to watch. He's therefore significantly less likely to be bluffing when he makes the large turn bet and I think I should have gotten away from my hand.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?2100640

For some reason I seem to go through these stretches where instead of making a lot of these good but tough folds like I usually do I just start calling everything. I had several hands like this today where I paid off big bets in spots I typically get away from, though everything is so situational some of those calls may have been correct. Anyways I'm off to replay these hands in my head a few thousand more times before I can get to sleep. Next live tournament will be the $2500 NL event on Friday, probably play some more online stuff today I guess.

Mike