...which is fairly easy when you start playing at 5pm. Basically everything went wrong today though and I was out early in level 3 just after dinner. Let me see what hands I can remember.
My initial table looked pretty soft. The Norwegian player on my right was the only one really doing anything that seemed like good poker. I played a couple small pots and then the table broke and I got moved to a new table that was even worse. Other than Phil Gordon it seemed like no one really had any clue whatsoever. The guy on Phil's left was comically clueless, but I really don't feel like writing a paragraph about the hilarity right now.
Hand 1: Phil Gordon limps UTG @ 50/100, megafish from above limps UTG+1, I'm down to 8200 or so from losing a few small pots and make it 500 with KK. Phil calls and megafish folds :-(. Flop J64 two hearts and Phil leads 1500 into 1250. I already kind of want to fold because his most likely hand preflop is a small-mid pocket pair so he probably has a set a lot but I decide to put up token resistance and call to see if he slows down, which I suspect he will with worse hands, though he might fire again with combo draws and bluff me anyways so even this plan isn't great and maybe I should just fold right here? Anyways the turn is an offsuit 8 and he bets 3500, I can't imagine he's running a huge bluff this early with so many other terrible players at the table so I fold. He told me after I busted that he had a set.
Hand 2: Button limps, SB completes and I check my BB with A7hh. Flop AK5 2 spades, we check it around. Turn 6 I bet 200 button calls. River J I bet 500 and button pays me off.
Hand 3: Megafish minraises as he often does in MP, I call with K4dd in the SB because I cant imagine how playing pots with him could be a bad idea for so cheap and the BB calls. Flop 832 two diamonds. Checks to fish who bets 400, which is bigger than his usual minbet or 200 bet which is somewhat concerning. I call due to infinite implied odds and the BB folds. Turn 4. I check/call 800. River 8, he bets 500 and I'm getting such a big price against a clueless guy I figure I have to call even though I doubt he's bluffing. He shows the 22 and I limp into dinner break with 4200.
Hand 4: 75/150 now, megafish limps in EP, I decide to limp A7o in the CO because raising and firing the flop is going to be really awkward on my stack size and he's going to call pretty light the times I miss the flop so it's really lame. Only the BB comes along for the ride. Flop AK4, megafish leads 200, I call and BB folds. Turn 4, fish bets 500 I call. River blank, he bets 100 and I just call, though there may actually be value in raising small here, but it's pretty thin and I've seen him make stupid river bets with big hands already from the 22 hand. He has K3o and I'm back over 5K.
Hand 5: Very next hand megafish limps, guy on my right limps, I make it 650 with KK. The SB raises to 1800, others fold I cram and he has AA. Flop K33 = bingo bango bongo, turn A=GG. Anyways I played well but the cards just weren't going to give me a chance today. Hopefully I can run better for the team in the World Cup. Anyways more time to lie on the beach and look at beautiful Spanish women now I guess.